1) You're pregnant, you've just been to the supermarket, and you're wheeling your trolley to your car. Out of nowhere a supermarket worker takes it from you and unloads everything into your car, free of charge. Oh, and takes the trolley back for you...
2) On the subject of trolleys - you leave them anywhere you like in the car park, because a) There's nowhere actually to put them and b) That's what everyone else does.
3) When you're at the doctor and they ask how long you've been married, they take that to be the length of time you've been trying for a baby.
(On a related note, I had to have an anti-D injection the other day for our rhesus incompatibility - I'm neg, my husband's positive. A British friend was telling me that a UK hospital tried to persuade her to have the same injection, despite both her and her husband being negative, on the grounds that 10% of babies born in the UK actually have a different father from the one on the birth certificate! Quite shocking. And that DEFINITELY wouldn't happen here. You'd find yourself in jail first!)
4) You have a minor traffic accident, and the police are so concerned that you're a) a woman and b) pregnant that they process everything at the speed of light so that you can go home and rest. And they spend half the time asking about your baby, whether it's a boy or a girl, etc, etc.
5) You sit at traffic lights and there's a goat on the back seat of the 4x4 parked next to you.
6) You sit at traffic lights and see that there are at least four toddlers unrestrained in the car beside you. Shocking. They do sell car seats for children here, it's just that people aren't keen to use them!
7) You never have to get out of your car at a petrol station to fill your own tank. Ever.
8) People look at you in amazement when you tell them you don't have a cleaner/maid/driver/nanny.
9) You drive to a beach, and it's completely empty... That is, until the next person arrives, and despite having the choice of the whole beach to park on, parks right next to you.
10) Your local park often has more security guards in it than people, and must consequently be the safest park in the WHOLE WORLD. I swear that there's a whole team of them who just keep an eye on the safety of the ducks and fish. (And no, that's not a joke... they keep watch at close quarters as children feed the ducks...!)
Monday, 22 February 2010
Saturday, 6 February 2010
Three months to go
Incredibly, I'm now 27 weeks pregnant, and just three months away from my due date. 12 weeks! Wow, this has all gone so quickly. Bump is kicking me very consistently now, which is so wonderful, and other people can feel (and see!) the kicks from the outside, which is very fun indeed. The downside is that my bladder seems to be a key kicking target. I'm considering counting my loo visits every day, to see if I can reach a world record. Right now I'm keeping an exciting novel in the bathroom to entertain me. I'm also becoming best friends with every toilet attendant in every shop and restaurant in the city...
There was good news on the gestational diabetes front. I don't have it! Hooray. One less thing to worry about.
Last week I was involved in a car accident, not a rare occurrence for anyone here, sadly. Luckily it was very minor, but I was still worried about bump, so went along to the A&E to get checked out. Everything turned out to be fine, but it was still a nasty time (as hospital visits usually are). At one point they put me in the trauma department in a cubicle next to several people who were seriously injured and in a lot of pain. Very stressful all round, particularly as my husband landed back from a USA trip a few hours after I was admitted and so had to come straight to the hospital from the airport, and it was all complicated by the fact that I got transferred to the Women's Hospital A&E, where he wasn't allowed inside to check on me. That sort of cultural difference is quite hard to accept under those sort of circumstances, but we managed. At least the care was excellent, which is the most important thing.
I was amazed to see last night on a forum I read regularly that a woman with the same due date as me has just delivered her baby girl, severely premature, but alive and well so far. Her waters broke early, and she went into labour a week later. It's so amazing to think that bump might be able to survive outside of the womb even now.
We've been thinking a lot recently about the birth. We've found a British midwife who's going to come to do some private birth preparation classes with us (unfortunately with my husband's roster, group classes have proved impossible). We're also thinking of asking her to be on standby for me in case I go into labour when my husband's away flying - I think it would be very reassuring having her with me if he couldn't be there (God forbid, but you never know with this business!)
I had some very sad news from a friend last week. She's a neighbour of mine on the compound, and recently told me that she was 12 weeks pregnant. I was overjoyed for her. Sadly, however, the 12 week ultrasound NT test found suggestions of genetic abnormality, so she went ahead with an amnio, which confirmed Down's Syndrome. Her age was a factor - she is over 40, and knew it was a possibility, but it was still a horrible shock. I know it was a very difficult decision for her, but she and her husband decided to terminate the pregnancy. I'm so sad for her.
I have no idea what I'd have done if I'd been in her shoes. Pregnancy is such a gamble in every way. Even now, all we know is that things are fine with bump *so far*. As I've said before, I take nothing for granted. I'm just praying things will work out ok in the end.
There was good news on the gestational diabetes front. I don't have it! Hooray. One less thing to worry about.
Last week I was involved in a car accident, not a rare occurrence for anyone here, sadly. Luckily it was very minor, but I was still worried about bump, so went along to the A&E to get checked out. Everything turned out to be fine, but it was still a nasty time (as hospital visits usually are). At one point they put me in the trauma department in a cubicle next to several people who were seriously injured and in a lot of pain. Very stressful all round, particularly as my husband landed back from a USA trip a few hours after I was admitted and so had to come straight to the hospital from the airport, and it was all complicated by the fact that I got transferred to the Women's Hospital A&E, where he wasn't allowed inside to check on me. That sort of cultural difference is quite hard to accept under those sort of circumstances, but we managed. At least the care was excellent, which is the most important thing.
I was amazed to see last night on a forum I read regularly that a woman with the same due date as me has just delivered her baby girl, severely premature, but alive and well so far. Her waters broke early, and she went into labour a week later. It's so amazing to think that bump might be able to survive outside of the womb even now.
We've been thinking a lot recently about the birth. We've found a British midwife who's going to come to do some private birth preparation classes with us (unfortunately with my husband's roster, group classes have proved impossible). We're also thinking of asking her to be on standby for me in case I go into labour when my husband's away flying - I think it would be very reassuring having her with me if he couldn't be there (God forbid, but you never know with this business!)
I had some very sad news from a friend last week. She's a neighbour of mine on the compound, and recently told me that she was 12 weeks pregnant. I was overjoyed for her. Sadly, however, the 12 week ultrasound NT test found suggestions of genetic abnormality, so she went ahead with an amnio, which confirmed Down's Syndrome. Her age was a factor - she is over 40, and knew it was a possibility, but it was still a horrible shock. I know it was a very difficult decision for her, but she and her husband decided to terminate the pregnancy. I'm so sad for her.
I have no idea what I'd have done if I'd been in her shoes. Pregnancy is such a gamble in every way. Even now, all we know is that things are fine with bump *so far*. As I've said before, I take nothing for granted. I'm just praying things will work out ok in the end.
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Letter to my 16 year old self
This post is inspired by a book that's just been published in the UK . In it, lots of celebrities write letters to themselves when they were 16, giving advice they wish they'd had back then. I heard a few excerpts on Radio 4 Woman's Hour the other day, and it got me thinking: what would I say to my teenage self, if I could?
Dear 16 year old me,
I'm not entirely clear why I'm bothering to write this, as I'm fairly sure you're going to ignore this advice anyway, knowing you as I do. Still, I reckon it's worth a try, as so far the only person you really listen to when it comes to advice is the voice inside your head. Who needs to listen to parents, anyhow? What do they know? Anyway, I digress.
I know that at the moment, the future - and the life outside your parents' very lovely but isolated country home - is an intoxicating mixture of exciting unknown opportunities and frightening potential failure. Will you be able to succeed in your chosen career, something you've wanted to do for years already? When will you be able to live somewhere more exciting, ie. when will life, as far as you're concerned, eventually start? Will a boy ever feel the same way for you as you feel about them? Will your thighs/bum/boobs ever resemble those of the ladies on Baywatch? Questions, questions, questions. Here, I'm hoping to provide just a few answers. Ignore them at your peril.
1) Firstly, career. I've learned over the years that persistence really pays off, and trust me, yours will, in the end. But be prepared for a great deal of rejection. Try to learn to rationalise it and focus on the good things you have going for you. Work hard, try not to get too emotional (always a struggle for you!) and keep your eye on the prize. But the other really important thing to bear in mind, and something that will become more and more obvious as you grow older, is this; a career isn't even half of what's really important in life.
2)As for moving somewhere more exciting, let me tell you that very shortly, life will never be dull again. In fact, you will find yourself looking back on the halcyon days of wandering open fields with a Sony Walkman with fondness(but only occasionally!) All too soon you'll be at University in the big smoke. Oh, and then later on you marry this amazing man whose job will ensure life is NEVER dull! But more of that later...
3) As for the body image issues, well, the good news on this is that your body, despite what you might think right now, is lovely, and probably the best it will ever be! (That's sort of the bad news, as it's downhill from now on!) The other good news is that you will come to love it and appreciate it. You'll never quite rid yourself of your insecurity (very few ever do) but you soon realise that we all have bits of our bodies we don't like, so we're all in it together.
4) Now for the biggie. BOYS. This topic has been consuming you ever since you developed female hormones, and it will be with you a while yet. I think years of single-sex education haven't done you too many favours on this front, leading you to find all boys exciting, whether they are arrogant idiots or not. I'm quite torn on this point, actually, as I really believe every single mistake you will make in relationships makes you into the woman you will become, so I don't really want to give too much advice. I can't stop myself however from specifically telling you that, when your first serious boyfriend breaks up with you at 18, I'd like you to walk away completely, and not hang around in case he changes his mind... But come on, who am I kidding, you're going to ignore me anyway! Oh, and the other thing is... It WILL all be ok in the end. Despite the emotional rollercoaster you will be on for another 10 years, there's a rainbow at the end that's really worth waiting for. So, enjoy the ride, as best you can.
Now, for some extraneous bits and bobs:
If you're being bullied, know that the people who are bullying you probably have bigger problems than you do.
Many of the most successful students academically struggle to translate that into success in later life. So don't worry if you come (God forbid!) 3rd place in an exam!
Love and appreciate your parents, because you have no idea how long they're going to be around, and, infuriating as they might be, they are very very precious.
Persuade your mum to let you go clothes shopping with friends and a budget, to avoid mum-influenced teenage fashion disasters (I still bear the scars...!)
Lots of friends come and go. Don't be too upset about the ones that go by the wayside, this happens a great deal in life. The ones that really matter are the ones who stick with you.
Oh, and Frizz Ease is a product of brilliance. Use it on your hair!
And finally...
When something amazing is happening to you, like leaving school, going to Uni, meeting your husband, and getting married, savour every single moment. Take lots of pictures, and keep them. Keep your letters and cards. Because one day, these will be more precious to you than you could ever imagine.
Enjoy it! The best is yet to come.
Lots of love,
You xx
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Back into the lion's den
Some of you will remember this post, in which I unwittingly found myself attending a mother and baby group coffee morning.
As I was undergoing fertility treatment and was hormonally challenged (to put it mildly) at the time, it was a complete disaster. I ended up weeping uncontrollably in front of a group of complete strangers.
Well, the other day I faced my nemesis again, although crucially, this time willingly. There's a very active group of new and expectant mums here which meets once a week, and I decided it might be a good thing to make some new friends in a similar situation to me. I had hoped to do this via ante-natal classes, but finding group classes is proving tricky out here, so I figured a coffee group might be another good option.
The morning didn't start well. My husband was away, and as I drove to the venue I began to get horrible pains in my chest. I was extremely frightened, and when I parked up I found the pain was worse when I stood up, so I sat back in the car and tried to calm down. I rationalised that, as the pain was high up in my chest around my breastbone, it was most likely heartburn, something I've only had mildly in the past, but had read could be a problem at this stage of pregnancy. Eventually it eased off a little and I walked very slowly into the cafe and found the group.
Unfortunately there weren't any other expectant mums there this time - they were all new mums. Still, I sat down and the lady next to me suddenly said "I know you from somewhere..." As I was puzzling about it, she suddenly piped up, "Oh yes, I remember now. I was at that coffee morning at your compound....."
Horror flashbacks! Acute embarrassment. This woman has witnessed my worst ever public breakdown!
Luckily, she couldn't have been nicer. She congratulated me warmly, introduced me to her son who was in her tummy last time we met, and made me feel welcome. Once I sat down I owned up to my killer heartburn, and all the women present reassured me that that was what it was, and that I had nothing to worry about. One even gave me some Rennies to try to combat it. I was extremely grateful.
One of my friends at home told me a while ago, however, that you grow to both love and hate these sort of groups. Love the fact that you can get reassurance and advice, but hate the fact that they can also be exclusive and competitive. (Well MY baby sleeps through the night! Well MY baby can sit up now! Etc.) We'll just have to see how I find it.
It's certainly a miracle being on the inside of one of these groups now, rather than on the outside looking in. The outside is a cold, frightening and desperate place to be.
Other related news - I did my Glucose Tolerance Test yesterday, because my doctor thinks I'm at high risk of gestational diabetes due to my PCOS. It was pretty horrible. They give you a nasty sugary orange drink to drink after 12 hours fasting, then take four separate blood tests over three hours. Brilliant. I was so knackered by the experience I slept for three hours when I got home in the afternoon! Fingers crossed I pass it...
As I was undergoing fertility treatment and was hormonally challenged (to put it mildly) at the time, it was a complete disaster. I ended up weeping uncontrollably in front of a group of complete strangers.
Well, the other day I faced my nemesis again, although crucially, this time willingly. There's a very active group of new and expectant mums here which meets once a week, and I decided it might be a good thing to make some new friends in a similar situation to me. I had hoped to do this via ante-natal classes, but finding group classes is proving tricky out here, so I figured a coffee group might be another good option.
The morning didn't start well. My husband was away, and as I drove to the venue I began to get horrible pains in my chest. I was extremely frightened, and when I parked up I found the pain was worse when I stood up, so I sat back in the car and tried to calm down. I rationalised that, as the pain was high up in my chest around my breastbone, it was most likely heartburn, something I've only had mildly in the past, but had read could be a problem at this stage of pregnancy. Eventually it eased off a little and I walked very slowly into the cafe and found the group.
Unfortunately there weren't any other expectant mums there this time - they were all new mums. Still, I sat down and the lady next to me suddenly said "I know you from somewhere..." As I was puzzling about it, she suddenly piped up, "Oh yes, I remember now. I was at that coffee morning at your compound....."
Horror flashbacks! Acute embarrassment. This woman has witnessed my worst ever public breakdown!
Luckily, she couldn't have been nicer. She congratulated me warmly, introduced me to her son who was in her tummy last time we met, and made me feel welcome. Once I sat down I owned up to my killer heartburn, and all the women present reassured me that that was what it was, and that I had nothing to worry about. One even gave me some Rennies to try to combat it. I was extremely grateful.
One of my friends at home told me a while ago, however, that you grow to both love and hate these sort of groups. Love the fact that you can get reassurance and advice, but hate the fact that they can also be exclusive and competitive. (Well MY baby sleeps through the night! Well MY baby can sit up now! Etc.) We'll just have to see how I find it.
It's certainly a miracle being on the inside of one of these groups now, rather than on the outside looking in. The outside is a cold, frightening and desperate place to be.
Other related news - I did my Glucose Tolerance Test yesterday, because my doctor thinks I'm at high risk of gestational diabetes due to my PCOS. It was pretty horrible. They give you a nasty sugary orange drink to drink after 12 hours fasting, then take four separate blood tests over three hours. Brilliant. I was so knackered by the experience I slept for three hours when I got home in the afternoon! Fingers crossed I pass it...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
BlogCatalog
Posts
