Facebook's "hide" option

Continuing on the Facebook theme, I've been reflecting on the brilliance of the "hide" option.

Deciding on Facebook "friends" is tricky. If you don't accept someone's request, you're sending out a clear signal to them that you don't like them. But if you do accept someone's request, you're allowing them into your life (well, the online part of it) and you're also committing to seeing their updates and photos on a regular basis. 

As I wrote in my last post, "unfriending" someone (and even worse, blocking them) is a very dramatic and actually quite a nasty thing to do. It's also pretty risky when you still see that person on a regular basis, as is the case out here in the Middle East. We pilots' wives often meet at social events; it's very hard to write someone out of your life completely in such a small, tight-knit community.

Therein is the joy of "hide". There are several women out here who I don't see eye to eye with. If I had my choice, I wouldn't see them very much, and the last thing I want to do is see them online every day. But "unfriending" them would offend them, and I don't want to do that. Hoorah for hiding, because this means they have no idea I'm not following them, and we get to keep the status quo. (I do also have several friends on limited profile - I'm not sure they've ever noticed.) 

Recently, a couple we'd just got to know announced that they were moving to another Gulf airline. We were pleased for them, as they were unhappy here. Unfortunately, said couple are complainers, and public ones at that. Lots of public bashing of our adopted home ensued, bitching about the company, etc. It made for depressing (and annoying reading.) And yesterday, Facebook was full of the wife's joy at new villa (6 beds with a swimming pool apparently) which is SO much nicer than she would have had here, given the PALTRY housing allowance here (£2000 a month!) , people, company, country much better, yadda yadda yadda.

So guess what? HIDE. 

Brilliant.

The perils of Facebook

Yesterday, I cast my eye over the news page of Facebook, something I do most days. It was full of the usual stuff - someone's wedding pictures, someone's baby pictures, someone's pics from a recent holiday, and lots of varied status updates.

Recently, a number of my former colleagues have been involved in a very interesting project which they're very proud of, and there have been lots of updates and pictures from them on FB about it. Reading them, I began to feel rather sad that I'm not working for my old company anymore, and that my career is, for the moment, completely on hold. I felt, I must admit, rather jealous.

Then, I considered my own Facebook activity. Recently, I've added gorgeous pictures from our recent holiday in France, as well as some amazing pics of our son, and recent updates include ramblings about Christmas and lovely barbecues on the beach. All true, of course - but not the whole picture, either. Have I, for example, ever announced to the Facebook world that I feel particularly depressed today? Or that I'm homesick today, and miss my husband like hell? Nope. Because instinctively, we all edit the face we put forward to the world. It's only natural. We don't want people to know that our lives are less than perfect.

So, that's something I then applied to the activity of various "friends" on FB (not close friends, of course, who I speak to regularly. They actually *are* privy to my deepest fears and thoughts, as am I of theirs). Once you remember to think about the spin we all put on our lives, you realise that nobody's life is ever perfect, no matter how it looks.

I think Facebook is a pretty interesting study in how we all interact socially actually. And it's also a very useful tool for keeping in touch with lots of people who, to be honest, if it wasn't for Facebook, I'd have completely lost touch with long ago. That's worth remembering, too - if it wasn't for FB, these people wouldn't be in my life at all.

Onto other news:

Our son is now nearly 6 months old. 6 months! It's incredible. How did it go that fast? He's now eating solids, and almost sitting up unaided. I take him to a baby music class now once a week, which he loves.

I'm feeling much better, although missing my hubby, who's just left for a four day trip.

We're also about to hopefully make a move to a new home, very near to where we live already. We're very excited. It's gorgeous, and huge! But that's for another post....