Thursday, 18 June 2009

Infertility nightmare

The other day, I agreed to meet a new British woman I'd just met on the compound for coffee. She texted me to say that she was meeting a few friends in the afternoon, and would I like to come? Naturally I agreed, always eager to make new contacts here.

So, I turned up at the coffee shop and found her sitting with her baby, one other mother and baby, and two other women. I sat down and was offered a cookie. It was then I noticed that the woman sitting next to me was pregnant. As I was taking this in, my new friend told the others that "another baby was coming too". And then the horrible truth dawned on me - this was her mother and baby group!

As the conversation, which was entirely baby related, began around me, I just suddenly felt this massive panic. I just wanted to get out of there, and considered making an excuse and walking out, but I knew that would look odd. Then the woman opposite, who was really quite sweet, asked me whether my husband and I had children, and I couldn't stop the tears. All of a sudden I burst into very embarrassing sobs. The women around me, none of course who I knew at all, just looked at me in horror. They asked what was up, and I mumbled "I'm really sorry, I'm having fertility treatment".

Only half the women understood what I'd said, but thankfully one of them - the only woman there who as far as I could see, wasn't pregnant - came over to give me a hug, and said "I know how it feels. It took me 11 years, and IUI, to manage it. Now I'm six months pregnant". Bless her, she was so overweight, I'd managed not to notice she was pregnant too! But it was such a lovely thing to say, and made me feel much better, so I stayed with the group when they all went for a swim, and chatted to this lady about her fertility treatment.

We have a fridge magnet which says "this would be really funny if it wasn't happening to me". Couldn't agree more - this was definitely one of those times. Inviting an infertile friend to your mother and baby group, eh - a classic!


  1. That must have been really uncomfortable for you, but shame on that woman for not telling you what kind of group it was. At least you made a friend out of it!

    Will you be doing IVF?

  2. Thanks! It was pretty horrible, all things considered.

    We haven't got as far down the road as IVF yet, although it may come to that. My consultant wants to pursue injectable drugs with Clomid first, then try IUI, and if that fails, then IVF. So we have a long journey ahead of us...

  3. How awful to end up at a mother's/baby group. I would have ended in tears also. Isn't it amazing the compassion of some people though? How wonderful that there was someone to give you a hug. ***hugs***




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