Frequently asked questions - some answers

Whenever I meet new people, conversation always gets round to what my husband does for a living. It's such a huge part of our daily lives, it's not surprising, really. The questions I get asked are pretty similar. People are very curious about what our lives are really like. So, I thought I'd answer a few of the questions here for people who come across this by googling "what's it like being married to a pilot" and who'd like some answers!

1) Do you get free flights?

Nope. We get ID90s, which means we pay 10% of the fare, plus tax. These tickets are always standby, which means we don't get on if the plane is full. It can be a pretty hairy experience trying to get anywhere.

2) But you always fly up the front, don't you?

Sadly, not any more.My husband's current airline doesn't allow staff kids into Business or First, so even the most senior Captains have to travel in economy with their young families! Gets my goat, this one. I flew Biz all the time before I had my son.

3) Your husband flies long haul - that must mean he's away a lot, but then home a lot, too?

Not really true at the moment, although it used to be. His current airline has a pilot shortage (huge expansion with not enough recruitment to keep up) so he and his fellow pilots are working far too hard. It surprises many of my friends that my husband often only has 24 hours off between long haul trips, often switching over from East to West or vice versa. He's knackered. How long his airline can carry on like this, I don't know. The pilots are so tired and hardly see their families. Some months recently he's just had the minimum days off at home that are legally required - 8.

4) Do all pilots cheat?

Nope. My husband is far too tired most of the time to even go out! And he's also more of a culture vulture than a party guy, and his cabin crew are rarely seen outside of their rooms downroute. Having said that, his first airline was more of a "party airline" and there was a great deal of socialising there. I never worried he'd cheat (we have complete trust, thankfully) but I did get annoyed about the girls flirting with him, as they often did. My husband used to come home and tell me all about it :) It has to be said, though, that I'm one of the lucky ones. I've lost count of the number of times my husband has told me that one of his colleagues is cheating on his wife. It's sad, but a fact of life. The aviation lifestyle can be toxic to family life. You have to work very hard at your marriage.

5) But you must be rich?

This is one thing the Middle East airlines do well. Their salaries are fantastic, we don't pay any tax (at all!) and our accommodation is paid for, too.

6) Aren't planes flown by computers nowadays anyway?

Nope. Well, in the cruise they are, but you only have to look at the number of accidents related to pilot error to see how much influence over the aircraft the pilots have.

7) So, your husband is a First Officer. When does he actually get to fly the plane?

Arrrrgggghhhhhh! There are TWO pilots on the plane. Both the First Officer and the Captain are fully trained pilots, who share the flying. But the Captain is in charge overall, and has more experience. (Generally - but there are some very experienced FOs out there.)

That's all for now. If you have any more questions, post them in a comment and I'll answer them!

Night flights

My husband set off this evening for a night flight. He won't be able to go to bed until about 10am tomorrow morning British time.

I often think back to the days before I met my husband, when I arrived at airports late at night or at the crack of dawn, excited but knackered ahead of a week or two of holiday. I never gave a thought then to how tired the crew must be too. I suppose I thought they must be super-human, able to feel completely awake when I just wanted to sleep, or at the very least that they'd had a long sleep during the day, and been able to rest when I'd tried to get to sleep that afternoon, and failed miserably.

I know different now, of course. Technically, my husband had more than enough time to rest before the flight, but who can manage to sleep during the day on a sunny Saturday in August, when the windows have to be open, and kids are out playing outside? I can't, and neither can he. His body clock is so confused as a result of his job that he has basically no sleeping pattern to speak of.

It's not the flying I worry about, really - it's the driving he does to and from the airport. I had an accident a few years ago on my journey to work, so I know the affect tiredness can have on your concentration on what's going on around you on the road.

I can't wait until he's tucked up, safe and sound in bed tomorrow morning.

Life on the treadmill

Not the gym kind - although I spend quite a lot of time on there too - but that metaphorical kind that I feel I'm permanently on at the moment, and let me tell you, it's exhausting.

My husband told me the other day that he felt his airline was in charge of his life, and I suppose it is, although it's not just his life, but both of our lives, really. We have the same problems as most other families where one member is a pilot; planning social occasions in advance is fraught with ifs and buts, and the jet lag and tiredness associated with the job makes socialising tricky even when he is home. My job is stressful and fairly anti-social too, so the combination of them both can really make us both feel like our time is never our own.

Which I suppose it's actually not! We're wage slaves. We're at that stage in our lives where we need to work to build up savings and pensions and pay off the mortgage, etc, etc, and there's no option to do anything else (except win the lottery, of course, and we're trying that too!) And although we get a lot more annual leave than our American cousins (we get about six weeks a year, give or take) it still never feels like enough.

So, we both feel like we live at work, and it's not nice. I'm often so tired by the end of the day that I simply don't have enough energy to tidy up, let alone go out on the town, or God forbid, have a relaxed and chatty evening with my husband, should we be lucky enough to have a night at home together. I've written elsewhere on this blog about the effects of tiredness, and I've noticed them acutely lately; lots of ridiculous nit picking and stupid disagreements, irrationally taking against a jumper left on the sofa, or a bin that hasn't been emptied yet. What's odd about these incidents is that realise I AM being ridiculous and unfair when I'm like this, and I'm sure my husband knows that too, when he's doing the same. It's just so hard to control when you're tired. One of lifes inevitabilities, perhaps.

Anyhow, our summer holidays are coming up in a month, and I can't wait. Stop the treadmill - I want to get off! If only for a week or two...

Aviation makes you grow old before your time!

If proof were needed that flying throughout the night, and having a constantly re-setting body clock takes its toll - my husband fell asleep watching television last night - at 8.30pm!! He did that old-man-esque thing of claiming that he was just "resting his eyes", but even he admitted defeat when he realised he had absolutely no idea what was going on in the TV drama we were watching (and not surprising, given that he'd missed half an hour!)

Poor thing, he was so knackered, so I took pity on him and steered him in the direction of bed. And being the dutiful wife, I headed up with him, and lay down beside him as he snored himself into la-la land. It's a nice sound, actually, because I do worry about how tired he gets, and of course a rested husband is a happy husband - and a safer pilot too, there is no doubt.