I'm beginning to feel depressed about the whole infertility journey. I know we're pretty much at the beginning (many people try for years) but I just feel like it's never going to work.
A blood test I had done last week showed that I didn't ovulate on Clomid. This will probably mean that I will have to go on twice the dose next cycle (nice). As it stands, I just don't cycle at all. Somehow my body's got so confused that all the normal signals that should be being sent around about hormone levels just aren't getting through. Damn and blast being on the pill for years. I think that must have had something to do with it, although my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) is obviously playing a part too.
I just can't imagine a future where my husband and I can't have a family. It just seems so unfair. He would be such a wonderful father, and I desperately want to give him the opportunity to be a daddy.
Sometimes I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
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About Me
- Flying High
- This blog is about the joys and frustrations of being a pilot's wife. I'm a British woman married to an airline pilot. Due to the collapse of my husband's airline in the UK, in 2009 we took the plunge and moved to the Gulf where my husband has a new job as a long-haul pilot. After an uphill battle with infertility due to my PCOS, we are overjoyed to be the new parents of a gorgeous baby boy, born in April 2010.
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You've got a lot going on in your life right now, new jobs... moving... keep taking your Clomid, try and forget about it... and it will happen!!
ReplyDeletePlease try not to let it get the better of you. I know that it's hard not to stress, really I do, I've angsted over similar things. But the more raised your stress levels are, the less likely your body is to ovulate.
ReplyDeleteYou're going through what I can only imagine is a very stressful time anyway. Try to hang onto your hope
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I've had 5 years of infertility under my belt here. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My advise is to do Yoga and pilates. I know that sounds really dumb, but I am almost convinced that is why I got pregnant. This is a really tough time for you. I'm just so sorry....
ReplyDelete