Thursday, 7 August 2008

Pilot's wife = part-time singleton

The other weekend, I went to a friend's 40th birthday party by myself. My husband was away, and I really wanted to go to wish her many happy returns, as she's been a fantastic friend to me over the years. I was hoping one of our mutual friends would be going along too, but, as it turned out, the only other people I knew at the party were my friend's parents.

The evening that ensued was just the sort of evening you dread when you're single: being randomly introduced to people who clearly have very little interest in talking to you; listening in detail to someone's thrilling job in accountancy in the city; sitting alone in a corner eating your picking from the buffet whilst earwigging in on a conversation between two aunts discussing their husbands' bad habits. That sort of thing, anyway. I left pretty early.

It occurred to me that it's all symptomatic of the life we pilot's wives lead. I sort of have two lives, my married one, and a quasi-single one. When my husband is home we make the most of the time we have together, but when he's away, my life is very very different.

You get quite used to your own company, and in fact really learn to enjoy it. You also learn to plan your time apart so that you see your friends while your husband is away, so you don't waste your time together when he's home. And you also have a list of dull things you tend to do when he's on a trip - like going to the gym, doing the supermarket shopping, hoovering, attacking the ironing... oh, the delights!

And, inevitably, you end up going to significant occasions alone - birthdays, weddings, etc - and that's when I miss my husband most acutely, because parties are never so much fun when you've no partner in crime! Although the significant difference is that luckily, my singleton status is only temporary, as I'm lucky enough to have a husband who will be flying home to me soon. Very lucky indeed, in fact. Good partners in crime are hard to find.


  1. I know exactly what you mean! I try to clean and go to the gym when my pilot boyfriend is away.I've come home to CA to visit family and I'm trying to get a bunch of dinners with friends out of the way before my boyfriend arrives here next month. Since we started in a long distance relationship- we got used to doing things separately. I guess sometimes it's the best of both worlds... you have your own free time and then you have your man who comes home to you. It does get hard though when special events come around and you have to fly solo. :( It's such a strange dynamic that only people in the same situation can understand!

  2. I think that Bf would have hated a party like that any way! He would be SO bored by a room full of boring self-centred people, and I think we'd still have left equally early!

  3. i know exactly what you mean. I had to go to my father's funeral alone. Okay well actually he was there for a few minutes and then left from the funeral home, to catch a flight! yes the positive is, I know how to go anywhere alone, and have learned to enjoy my own company!

  4. I think for me, its made me more of an introvert ... I tend to not do things when he is gone, but that is also b/c we have a child and live in a place where we have very few friends ... I love your "partners in crime" thing .. so very true for us too:)

  5. It is really hard!! Especially having a child together. He misses out on so many things and when he's home he is always tired and at times even if he is there its like he's not. Being married to a pilot is basically having a life where u are alone 75% of the time! u try to make the most of the time u have together but it never seems to be enough time to catch up on lost times




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