Saturday, 18 July 2009

Smug mummies and daddies: a rant

Irrational hatred of the month: "Baby on Board" stickers.

I'm not sure quite what these are supposed to achieve. Am I supposed to drive vastly more carefully around a car that might have a baby in it? Are adults not as precious cargo? And surely by the time I'm close enough to read the bloody sign, I'm already too close to their precious child anyhow?

My theory is it's just a form of boasting. Ooooh, look at me, I managed to get pregnant and it's now the centre of my universe, so I want to tell the whole world!!! Aren't you impressed with my brand new baby-car seat, multiple-mode push chair, oh-so-huggy mummy outfit and re-decorated nursery, with Mamas and Papas flatpack furniture?

My husband said the other day that he was now beginning to feel like I do - that it seems to him that everyone we know, and everyone we see, is pregnant. And, in his words, "they're all so bloody smug about it".

Couldn't have put it better myself.


  1. I PROMISE to never put one of those in my window!!!! =)

  2. Must say i agree about the BOB Stickers, but i cant help being surprised at your "Outburst" about parents to be generally. Certain things change your life forever, whats wrong with getting excited about something?, bet you were a nightmare in the run up to your wedding!! (not a parent by the way, just a live and let live kind of person)

  3. Yes, I agree with the BOB sticker, we didn't have them, even though I was sent one free in my pregnancy pack.

    However, like Russell, (and I am a mummy) I was a little disheartened by your rant on parents... It seemed a little bit of an attack. I genuinely have a deep empathy with how frustrated, and gut-wrenching it must be for you to yearn for something so much, and not to have it.

    A very dear friend of mine has battled long and hard with infertility issues, and I always feel a sense of guilt that I have children when I know she wants them so desperately herself. I certainly don't want to rub her nose in my fertility-quite the opposite, but at the same point, how am I supposed to act, ashamed?

    Surely then we'd be unworthy, and the wold would seem even more unfair to be full of such ungrateful parents? I know my friend will be an amazing mummy. I believe it with all my heart, and I believe you will too actually.

    ...But imagine after all your infertility issues, how blessed you will feel when you do become a mummy... I am positive that you'll be bursting with pride and happiness, and wont hide it... But that doesn't mean you'd be smug about your ability to breed.

    I certainly don't think parents view BOB signs as an advert to rub it in to the faces of others who are struggling with infertility issues either, even if I don't personally choose to stick one in my window.

  4. The very definition of a rant, as this post is subtitled, is to shout and complain in an impassioned way - I guess that could qualify it as an outburst or an attack, but it does seem also that we are asked by that subtitle to not take it all so seriously. "Rant" implies that what comes next might not necessarily be governed by rationality.

  5. Thank you, all of you, particularly the last anonymous poster who correctly pointed out that a rant is simply that - a rant!

    Some of you will probably have seen this reaction to my post on Partner of a Pilot.

    I must say I'm very hurt by the comments, and only wish she'd contacted me privately to discuss things rather than publicly post in such a hurtful way.

    When you're having a tough time - as we are, right now - sometimes you need to vent, and this is the only place I feel I can do that safely. For the record, I have many close friends with children who I adore, who are NOT smug. I was not generalising for all parents - I was merely reflecting the way we feel at the moment.

    Anyhow, thanks all for reading the post and adding your comments. Hopefully i'll have some positive news on the infertility front soon and therefore won't be "negative, bitter and aggressive" anymore!! :)

  6. They still make those things? Huh.

  7. Why should we have to be embarrassed about being mommies?

    I'm assuming when you do get pregnant we won't be seeing any mention of it on your blog? that would of course be smug!!

  8. Understandably it's hard for you. Just never give up hope. It's healthy to let off steam and your own blog is a good place to do it. I have never (until now) heard you rant once about your challenge.

    You have a lovely and generous nature and you'd go insane if you didn't vent somewhere.

    Just have faith and remain strong. x




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