Saturday, 3 May 2008

Tiredness, and its effects

I'm knackered. Really, really tired. I often feel like this, as I also have a very demanding job. Granted, I don't have the lives of hundreds of people in my hands every time I go to work, but I certainly hope I make a difference in what I do, and I try to do my best.

The effect of this, though, is that I'm often too tired to enjoy my home life properly, and worse, I start to take it out on the people I love.

Similarly, my husband is often exhausted. The way airlines (even flag carriers, nowadays) operate their schedules leaves very little time for recovery between flights. They chop and change the hours he reports at so he has little chance to establish a sleeping pattern. The result is an often exhausted husband. And when an exhausted husband meets an exhausted wife, it's difficult.

I get very short tempered, and very intolerant. Small things, like whether the lounge is tidy, or the bin emptied, start to assume an importance far greater than they deserve. I get headaches, and my smiles get rarer and my scowls get more and more prevalent. My husband, in turn, starts to get peeved that I'm so cross, and we have lots of awkward silences. Luckily, though, we don't have the type of relationship where we have huge, shouting arguments (you know, the type where you end up saying something hurtful you didn't mean). Instead, these silences are brief and we make up swiftly.

This is because, at our core, we love each other deeply, and we hate being like this. It's not our natural state at all. We both recognise that it's our jobs rather than our natures that lead us to behave like spoilt children.

Ways to cope? Well, clearly not shouting and raving is key. Giving each other space at times like this is best, I think. And being gentle with each other. And, when you're both feeling great and you're having a wonderful time, making the most of it. Life is full of highs and lows, and the key to happiness, I think, is to celebrate the high points.

Or perhaps I should just become a lady of leisure? Hmmmm, not too sure about that.

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