Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Unfriendly Facebook

Today, someone I used to be friends with blocked me on Facebook.

I found out because when I looked at a nasty comment she'd left on a status update of mine, I could no longer view her page. When I tried searching for her, she was no longer there. So there it was: I had become a victim of the new definition of bullying and small-mindedness for the internet age.

When someone blocks you on Facebook, you become invisible on Facebook to them, and them to you. You can't search for them, see their page or send them messages. Luckily, they can't see the person they've blocked either, unless they decide to lift the block. Annoyingly, it's impossible to block someone back once they've done it to you. They can, in theory, keep lifting the block and peek and you, then block you again. So far, so annoying.

The irony of the whole thing is that I really wanted to unfriend said nasty woman, but didn't want to do it for fear of upsetting her. I was trying to keep the peace. I'd gone for the more sensible option of "hiding" her on Facebook so I no longer had to put up with her posts in my timeline. She's obviously not clever enough to have worked out you can do this.

Let me tell you about this woman. She arrived in the sandpit from the UK about 2 years ago. She left 9 months later, unable to settle. She's left her husband here working, and only comes out during school holidays to visit (except Christmas, because she will only have Christmas in the UK. Of course.) Her pilot husband can't find a job in the UK and is pretty miserable and knackered, commuting home for maybe 3 days at a time once a month.

She used to be our neighbour in company accommodation. Her husband came out first, and we were always there for him, inviting him to dinner, offering him our PC for Skype with the family before he had an internet connection, etc. When she came out, she was extremely friendly, suggesting she and I have dinner some nights, share babysitting, etc. She was even very helpful when I had post-natal depression. All good, you'd think.

Then, it began to go wrong. We decided to move out as I was so unhappy. She told me I was isolating myself. I disagreed. When we'd moved in, her family trooped round to ours and she and her husband inspected it at high speed, loudly declaring flaws like "why didn't they fit a better kitchen?" and "I bet it costs a fortune to cool, I hear it's zillions of pounds a year..." (like hell.)

When I was younger and girls at school were saying nasty things, my Mum used to say that they were jealous of me. I knew this was a line she was spinning me at the time - but I do wonder if that's the factor at play here.

Since moving out, I've been far happier, have a new circle of friends and clearly love my home. My career has also gone from strength to strength. I never talk about my job on here, but suffice to say, it's got glamorous connotations and what I do gets noticed. I think this gets up her nose. Moreover, I've chosen to stay in this country, and I'm making it work. Our family is together.

My theory, therefore, is that she's blocked me on Facebook because she can't bear to see that I'm happy with a situation she rejected rashly last year. And in doing so, reduced herself to the level of the playground.

Still wish I'd unfriended her weeks ago, though...  Who needs enemies when you have Facebook "friends" like these?

1 comment:

  1. I think that you nailed it I find that often people who are unkind do it because they are unhappy with their life and thus consciously or not they are jealous and unkind. I am sorry this happened to you, you again though have the upper hand as you did not unfriend her even when she was hurtful to you, because you considered her feelings. This speaks volumes about your character, don’t let her take anything away from who you are :0)




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