Things I hope my Grandmother hasn't taught me

My son and I are currently in the UK, staying with my parents. My husband's flying in tomorrow for Christmas. We can't wait.

Yesterday, we all went up to the north of England to visit family there, including a visit to see my Grandmother, who hadn't yet had a chance to meet my son, her third great-grandchild.

Those who've read my blog for a while will remember this post about a trip I made to see her just before I moved out to the Middle East. It was a lovely visit, one I will always remember.

Sadly, yesterday was a day I'd rather forget. Mum had been telling me for some time that my Grandma's attitude had deteriorated. She has always had a rather selfish, stubborn personality, but this seems to have got worse and worse over the last ten years or so. Added to this, she also seems to have become very paranoid. And, as I mentioned in my previous post, she's a wily old bird, but she's putting this to bad use now, unfortunately.

At 95, she's still living in her own home. The problem is, she's finding it harder to look after herself, but continually refuses to pay for the care she needs, insisting her two daughters (one of whom is my Mother, who lives 2 and a half hours away) should be doing it instead. She continually claims to be lonely, but refuses to be picked up to visit family members, has refused an invite for Christmas Day, and won't even countenance visiting a local day centre (not HER sort of people or HER sort of food, apparently!)

When we saw her yesterday, I started trying to have a nice chat with her, but instead of responding in kind, she laid into me for not phoning her when I'm visiting the UK. I tried explaining how busy and overwhelmed I am when I visit, but instead, she then said "Yes, well at the moment, your life is full. But you wait until you're old and nobody cares about you, your husband has died and your son has left home, and you're all alone, and then you'll know how I feel". Oh, tidings of comfort and joy, indeed...

She complains nobody visits her enough. Well, it's clearly not surprising when she's so horrendously unpleasant. The sad thing is that if she wanted company, fun, laughter and family, she could have it in abundance! Comparisons with Scrooge come to mind...

So, I really hope that if I have the honour of getting to her age (she also told me I might get lucky and die before her age! Briliant!) I hope I manage to keep my ability to wish joy for other people, and find joy all around me. Because, if she even tried to look for it, it's definitely there.